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SOAPBOX: Silly Shelley arrives for her wedding
by Rachel Broady15/ 9/2005
CORONATION STREET The women of Weatherfield
finally tell Shelley what they think of her hubby-to-be. You think
they would've spoken up faster, after Richard "pass me that shovel"
Hillman. Even Zack makes it clear that he knows Charlie's a bad
un.
But Shelley necks a brandy and makes her way to her wedding...as
Charlie wakes up in bed with another woman dreading the day ahead.
It's fair enough. He's not as fond of wedding cake as Deirdre, is
he?
Only more surreal than the outcome of that do is the fact that
Status Quo have a drink in the Rovers. Yes, Les Battersby's
favourite band just happen to be in his local. It's not that
unusual. I often pop into M19 in Levenshulme and wait around for
Tom Waits.
Chesney spots the rockers and runs to tell Les and, when he finally
believes him, he excitedly pegs it to the pub with all his albums
under his arm but Les gets a surprise - and Francis Rossi gets
revenge.
As Eileen drowns her sorrows in the pub with Sean (neither of them
bumping into Robbie Williams, I hasten to add), Gail is finding her
chats with foot fetishist Phil cathartic. Well, that's how she'd
describe it, the mucky mare. She tells him about Hillman and about
Todd and Sarah, so he gives her one of his "special" foot massages
and she falls asleep - David, go and hide the garden tools!
EMMERDALE Callum collects some fake passports so
Zoe can go on the run - but runs out in a strop when he finds her
kissing the nanny.
He comes back in time but as Zoe waits in Ireland for her kids to
arrive for the long trip into anonymity she realises the nanny she
snogged is far less reliable than Mrs Doubtfire. Rather than
heading to New Zealand, she ends up signing over Home Farm to the
Kings and has to stand trial. It's about time those Tates got their
comeuppance.
Meanwhile, Paddy has lost his confidence and struggles to treat a
dog. No jokes about Viv Windsor, please! Zoe has been blackmailing
him and he has to take the stand, leaving everyone shocked by what
he has to say.
After the verdict Scott ends up in a fight and disowned by his
over-protective mother. She can't even look him in the eye as he is
dragged away by the police ...
EASTENDERS Chrissie can arrange Den's funeral so,
no doubt, some garish horse-drawn carriage will be made by the BBC
props department. Then Sharon will probably faint with all the
grace of Miss Piggy in a fight and someone will turn up unexpected.
By the way, do you think they'll have two dates for his death on
the tombstone?
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